Least Favorites of 2022

It may be a film twitter faux-pas at this point, but it's also a tradition of mine that lives to fight another year: the worst films of 2022. Or to put it less harshly: my least favorite films of 2022. I'm not saying that everyone involved turned in shoddy work or that I can't enjoy these filmmakers and what they were attempting. I'm not saying anyone set out to make a bad film and can respect the effort that went into these films. But movies are an art, and they're here to be judged. Not everything can be everyone's cup of tea and that's okay! But in an attempt to be nicer, I'll try to throw in one redeeming quality of the film (so long as I can find one.) So let's get to it shall we?

10. HALLOWEEN ENDS

Halloween (2018) had such promise, but was followed by the lackluster Halloween Kills in 2021. It was up to Halloween Ends to redeem the trilogy and conclude the story of Laurie Strode and Mike Meyers with a bang (or a stab). Instead....Halloween Ends focused on some random dude we'd never seen or heard of before. Makes total sense.

Redeeming quality: This isn't really a terrible movie and had some interesting things to say about the effects of bullying. Plus the cold open was incredible. But for what it sold itself as, it IS a bad Halloween movie.

9. THOR

Taika Waititi reinvigorated the Thor franchise with Thor: Ragnorak that it was a no brainer to bring him back for another film. Thor: Love & Thunder was poised for success in bringing the fantastic Christian Bale in as a villain and bringing back Natalie Portman to the role of Jane Foster, but this time with the ability to become The Mighty Thor. Unfortunately, Waititi doubled down on all of his worst instincts and subsequently the tone of this film could never seem to take the subject matter it tried to present seriously. Incredibly unfunny and dull. It's one I'll never revisit.

Redeeming quality: Christian Bale totally killed it as Gorr and the film needed far more of him.

8. BLACK ADAM

Black Adam is a joyless superhero film that answers the question what if Dwayne Johnson played a character with no charisma. This was such an odd choice to cast him in a role that uses none of his onscreen talents (aside from looking the part). A boring fish out of water with no humor or charm. Unfortunately, no one else in the film has it either, apart from a semi-amusing Pierce Brosnan.

Redeeming quality: The Zack Snyder ripoff action sequences I guess.

7. 355

There were a lot of squandered opportunities on this list, but this one is among the worst. How do you get a cast this good and deliver something so generic? I forgot everything about this movie within hours of seeing it.

Redeeming quality: Cast is innocent. They tried to elevate the material, but they could only do so much!

6. DEEP WATER

Deep Water is such a ludicrous "lifetime movie" of a film. Surprisingly though, it actually has its moments--but it's certainly not the sexy thriller it was meant to be. The storytelling here is odd, and you can't help but feel everyone is kind of embarrassed by the proceedings.

Redeeming quality: It did have some genuinely well done scenes (the pool party caught my interest and gave me hope maybe the film would get better). But I have to say the unintentionally hilarious ending was my favorite part.

5. FIRESTARTER

Who knew horror could be so tedious. Okay, I've obviously watched a lot of bad horror in my days, but this one was up there. Bad performances all around, and Zac Efron in particular definitely phones it in (hey I'm not a total monster here, I'm not gonna rag on a child's performance).

Redeeming quality: The score!!! John Carpenter came to play, even if no one else did. The score goes hard.

4. TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE

Woof. This movie. It wanted so bad to do for The Texas Chain Saw Massacre what Halloween (2018) did for Halloween (1978). Unfortunately it only managed to deliver a tension free, ridiculous horror re-quel to the original classic. The film features some of the most unlikable characters in a horror movie ever (save for maybe those in Bodies Bodies Bodies, but there it seems more clear it's in the name of satire) making the audience not only never invested in their safety, but actively looking forward to when each one bites the dust.

Redeeming quality: Um.....Elsie fisher was fine. The recast of the final girl was also fine. Some of the kills were amusing.

3. PERSUASION

Poor Jane Austen is rolling in her grave with this ghastly adaptation of Persuasion that somehow manages to fundamentally misunderstand every single thing about the classic novel upon which it is based. The film wants to have its cake and eat it too. Forcing the story to be something its not: Pride & Prejudice meets Bridgerton. This Persuasion is anachronistic for the sake of anachronistic and fatally forgets that its heroine is far different than the feisty Elizabeth Bennet, with the woefully miscast Dakota Johnson as Anne Elliott. If you get the heroine wrong, the whole movie is wrong.

Redeeming quality: Production values were still nice. The gal who played Mary was a hoot.

2. PINOCCHIO

This movie should have been scrapped for firewood. I can't even count the egregious offenses or how hard I was cringing the entire way through. Joseph Gordon-Levitt, I love you to death, but your Jiminy Cricket voice is the stuff of nightmares. Garish CGI from beginning to end, and really guys you had to even animate Figaro?? Is it impossible to use real cats anymore? But worst of all, it totally doesn't get the point of the original and absolves Pinocchio from needing to learn anything at all. Plus the weird ambiguous ending leaving his fate up in the air was a final middle finger to viewers. Robert Zemeckis, what happened to you?

Redeeming quality: REALLY hard to come up with anything here. Despite my gripes with the CGI, animated Figaro was still cute even if a real cat would have been preferable.

1. THE BUBBLE

Nothing can top this dreadful film and the emotional anguish I felt in forcing myself to finish it. Unfunny to the point of causing true pain. Like others on this list, a lot of talented people involved to deliver something so completely devoid of entertainment or joy. Please never watch this.

Redeeming quality: N/A

And that does it! Keep an eye out for my 10 Best List, coming soon to a blog near you.