6.24.2016

Sharks n Aliens

Independence Day: Resurgence doesn't deserve a typical review where I keep you in suspense for the first paragraph to let you know whether it's good or not. So I'll just let you know right here from the get-go that this movie is absolutely terrible...if not one of the worst movies of the year and one of the worst blockbusters of recent memory. If you love movies that induce headaches from mind-numbing idiocy, then this movie is for you! Also out today is a movie called The Shallows that may be just as dumb but twice as fun. I'll give you my briefest of brief thoughts on both. Let's start with former.

In Resurgence, 20 years have passed since the events of Independence Day.  The world has lived in peace all this time and advanced far in technology after learning from all the junk the aliens left behind (and yet, a 90s computer was able to beat those aliens with a virus...makes sense.) Now, a new president is faced with a tough decision when an unknown spacecraft appears to be a threat to earth and from there an incomprehensible and stupid story begins to unfold.  Plot specifics aren't necessary here because there's really not much to this film besides aliens attack earth...again. But surely it can't be that bad right? Wrong. The characters here are all essentially cardboard cut-outs and everything is lifeless. I was bored out of my mind during this movie. Watching every battle scene I felt I might as well be watching a video game as there was absolutely no suspense for any peril that any character faced. I could go more in depth on the ranting if I wanted to, but frankly it's not worth the energy. EMILY RATING: 1.5/10 


Now for The Shallows where Blake Lively stars as a woman caught between a rock and a hard place. In this case, a "hard place" being a shark-filled ocean. It's basically Castaway meets Jaws, with even less rhyme or reason than those two films may at times be accused of. As with Jaws, the shark in The Shallows is thirsty for killing and more powerful than seems reasonable. But here, it seems that the unbelievability of its power is amped to incredulous levels.  Is this movie every bit as dumb as Independence Day: Resurgence? Probably....but it pretty much owns its B-movieness. Plus perhaps the most merciful difference is that it's an hour shorter, making it a lot harder to feel bored during its shark-filled proceedings. It kinda revels in its absurdity as opposed to taking it seriously, so it's a lot easier to have fun with. So no, I wouldn't call The Shallows a good movie, but it was an entertaining one...which was a lot more than I can say for Resurgence. EMILY RATING: 6.5/10


1 comment:

Sarah said...

Ha ha. I totally have to see The Shallows. :)