1.11.2016

The WORST Films of 2015

So now that I'm done talking about what 2016 has in store for us, it's time to return to summing up 2015.  Earlier I presented my list of the ten unwatchable films of 2015, but now it's time for the worst films I DID actually watch last year.

10. TIE: THE LONGEST RIDE
It's almost a tradition at this point to include a Nicholas Sparks film on my worst list, but in this one's defense, it probably was the least worst of his offerings of late. Most of that was probably the eye candy offered by Scott Eastwood. Otherwise, this one is a pretty forgettable mishmash of all the usual Nicholas Sparks tropes. Original review HERE

10. TIE: ALOHA
I wanted to like Aloha. I wanted to like it really badly. The cast is fantastic and the trailer showed so much promise. But what I actually got? A giant steaming hot mess. The story is all over the place and all kinds of stupid. But the most surprising thing to me of all is how little chemistry the usually charismatic Emma Stone and Bradley Cooper had together. The age difference (that usually isn't a problem with the pairing of Cooper and Jennifer Lawrence) was glaringly more obvious while Emma Stone tried to make her character so childlike. A movie is doing something wrong when you're hoping the character gets back with their ex. Also one of my cardinal movie sins is wasting John Krasinski, and while he was absolutely the best part of this movie, he deserved better (as he always does.)

9. SELF/LESS
Self/Less almost was just a bland sci-fi action thriller...until a point in the movie where it crossed over into absurdity. At this point, the film becomes an unintentional comedy and a parody of the genre. It's kind of preposterous.

8. THE LAZARUS EFFECT
With a genre capable of such craziness, how is it possible that so many boring horror movies exist? With a premise about learning to bring the dead back to life, you'd think they could generate some suspense. Unfortunately though, The Lazarus effect bored me to tears and is quite frankly an insult to the genre. Even with a great cast, they couldn't bring this dud to life.

7. PAN
I was so disheartened by how awful Pan was. This film has a serious identity complex. One minute it's trying to be Moulin Rouge, the next it's taking plotlines directly from the first Star Wars. There was so much potential to this film, but somehow every single thing rang hollow. Original review HERE.

6. THE GALLOWS
So there are boring horror movies, and then there are idiotic ones. This one happens to be both. It also happens to contain some of the most annoying characters to appear in a movie this year. The Gallows is horrendous. It's only 81 minutes, but the fact that there is zero suspense and that the film basically consists of annoying teenagers walking around in the dark acting scared, it feels like an eternity. You don't think the film could possibly get any more stupid, and then it reveals its twist.

5. THE BOY NEXT DOOR
As an unintentional comedy or parody, The Boy Next Door is kind of fantastic. It is absolutely one of the more entertaining films on this list, but certainly not in the way it was intended to be. This movie is hilariously awful, in the so bad it's good kind of way. But that doesn't mean I'm not about to acknowledge that it *is* awful. 

4. ACCIDENTAL LOVE
Accidental Love is almost indescribably bad. The film was made in 2008 by David O Russell, but never finished due to a number of financial issues. It rested on a shelf for years and years and REALLY should have stayed there. What is supposed to be an upbeat comedy making statements about the government (the film centers around a waitress who gets hit in the head with a nail gun, and convinces a senator to plead her cause...) just ends up being a listless, mind numbing experience I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.

3. JUPITER ASCENDING
Like The Boy Next Door, the utter absurdity of Jupiter Ascending is kind of fun. There's a certain respect for this film since it tried to be original and took a risk and all...but it pretty much failed spectacularly. Oh and I'm STILL shocked this film didn't help Michael Keaten edge out Eddie Redmayne in the Academy's eyes with his scenery chewing performance he gives as one of the villainous siblings out to kill their reincarnated mother.

2. THE COBBLER
The Cobbler is an awful film starring Adam Sandler, which isn't in and of itself unusual thing. But the WAY in which it is awful differs so much from the usual Sandler offering that it's quite simply astounding. What's crazy is that Sandler isn't actually so bad in this role, and the premise itself is pretty interesting....but somehow the director takes the idea of a cobbler being able to turn himself into the person whose shoes he's wearing, and makes it infuriatingly stupid. 

1. HOT PURSUIT

No film I saw last year outmatched the sheer laziness and stupidity of Hot Pursuit. This film legitimately does not have a single thing going for it. It's as if in the pitch room someone said "You know what would be a good idea for a movie? Someone scratching their nails on a blackboard for a whole movie!" Then they cast Sofia Vergara and Reese Witherspoon who had absolutely zero chemistry and expected somehow it would be funny. The plot here is completely inconsequential to talk about here, pretty much like it was in the movie. Honestly, this movie was the worst.

So any that I missed from this list AND my unwatchables? Let me know!

To read my WORST of lists for previous years see below.

4 comments:

Sarah said...

I might have to watch The Boy Next Door (because I like to watch "so bad it's funny" types of movies). The Lazarus Effect sounds like a missed opportunity. The plot sounds interesting enough. It's too bad they blew it.

We tried to watch The Cobbler on Netflix, but we only made it through the first 30 minutes. Then we got interrupted...and never felt the need to return to finish it.

Sofia Vergara and Reese Witherspoon sound like a really crazy pairing. One point of interest there though is that I heard that Sofia Vergara seriously injured Reese Witherspoon during filming. http://www.etonline.com/movies/162675_sofia_vergara_popped_reese_witherspoon_ovary_during_fight_scene/

Andy W. said...

I've heard Sisters is horrendous. But I don't dare sit through it myself.

Anthony Malena said...

Didn't get around to seeing Star Wars Episode 7, huh? :-) Excellent marketing does not a great movie make.

Eh. At least it had good action and effects.

Emily said...

@AnthonyMalena

On the contrary! You can read my disappointment to that movie below.
http://www.moviesnmayhem.com/2015/12/the-forced-awakening.html