12.30.2015

The Unwatchables of 2015

Another year down, another round of my annual end of year lists. First up, it's time for my traditional list of the utterly unwatchable films of the year. These are the films I would never go out of my way to see, and some you couldn't even pay me to sit through! This year though, either the films are getting better, or my standards of what I'll sit through are getting worse. Truth be told, a couple of these I probably *would* watch if I happened to be bored enough.

 JEM AND THE HOLOGRAMS

What on earth is this movie trying to be? One dash throwback to an 80's childhood remake, another speck of Josie and the Pussycats and finally a sprinkle of The Last Mimzy. This concoction seemed to not only repel me, but everyone else in America too as it became the biggest flop of the year. IMDB RATING: 3.4/10, Rotten Tomatoes rating: 19%

STRANGE MAGIC

I am one of the few people left on God's green planet who still seem to love George Lucas, but this film looks like a bizarre acid trip into the further most recesses of his crazy mind. Not sure if that's a place that even I want to visit. IMDB RATING: 5.7/10 Rotten Tomatoes rating: 16%

PAUL BLART: MALL COP 2 
 

Yes I saw the first one, and as a result I won't touch this with a ten foot pole. Fool me twice would be shame on me. IMDB RATING: 4.4/10, Rotten Tomatoes rating: 5%

THE LAST WITCH HUNTER 

This has to be the most bizarre ensemble cast I've ever seen. Poor Michael Caine and Elijah Wood. Have your career's sunk so low you have to stoop to being in a movie with Vin Diesel?? IMDB RATING: 6.1/10, Rotten Tomatoes rating: 16%

ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS: 
THE ROAD CHIP

Gah! Who keeps giving these people money to make these movies?? IMDB RATING: 3.7/10, Rotten Tomatoes rating: 16%

MAX 

This looks like a Nicholas Sparks movie with a dog in the main role. No thanks. IMDB RATING: 6.8/10, Rotten Tomatoes rating: 36%

THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE 3

Never have I ever touched this series, nor do I ever intend to. Let's hope it really is the FINAL sequence. IMDB RATING: 3.0/10, Rotten Tomatoes rating: 19%

FIFTY SHADES OF GREY  
Smutty Twilight fan fiction turned into a big budget movie. What a pitch! IMDB RATING: 4.1/10, Rotten Tomatoes rating: 24%

MORTDECAI

Truth be told, I would have watched this. But I didn't want to pay $10 to rent it to see if it would make my worst list. Now I shall just deem it unwatchable since 88% of critics did!  IMDB RATING: 5.5/10, Rotten Tomatoes rating: 12%

CHAPPIE

Terrible word of mouth has convinced me to stay far far away from this beast. But, if bored enough maybe I could be persuaded. IMDB RATING: 6.9/10, Rotten Tomatoes rating: 31%

That's all for this time. Am I totally wrong? Have you seen any of these and can vouch for them? Let me know! And come back for more enf of the year lists this week and next.

5 comments:

Johanna said...

Still taking Sarah's boys to see the Road Chip. Maybe I'll take a nap. :)

Sarah said...

I'll sit through all sorts of terrible kids movies if it keeps my boys from fighting for a few hours!

Amelia said...

Was I the one who told you to stay away from Chappie??? if not I should have haha I did not enjoy it

Taylor Greene said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Taylor Greene said...

Good list! I just finished watching Inside Out and, besides three laughing moments, found it pretty disappointing and lame.

On to the real movie: I'm still desperately waiting for your review of 'Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No'