Captain Not So Obvious

It's been about six months since Thor's sequel hit theaters, which means it's time for another Marvel movie obviously. Today's Marvel movie du jour? The second installment in Captain America's story: Captain America: The Winter Soldier. Is it worth your time? No. Not really at all. Will you watch it and likely love it anyway? Probably. Everyone in my theater seemed to be eating it up, but I have to say as far as I'm concerned, it may be the weakest of the Avenger affiliated Marvel movies yet (I can't decide which is worse between it and Iron Man 2) and through the majority of it I found myself extremelllly bored. So.....prepare yourself for a rant fest below.

ATTENTION SCREENWRITERS: Just because a character has appeared in previous movies doesn't mean you get a free pass for the audience to care about them (though I guess mind boggingly it works for some people, though it shouldn't.) These characters are all so two-dimensional it's ridiculous. We are simply supposed to care for these people just because they're familiar faces and "good." I like staring at Chris Evans' body  face as much as the next girl, but come ON. Can't the Cap'n at least have a tiny semblance of a personality? Dullsville, USA I tell ya. And the female supporting cast fares no better. Scar-Jo half-heartedly spits out one-liners and somehow has weapons or trinkets coming out of her sleeves whenever convenient. And Cobie Smulders? It's too soon. Every time I saw her on screen I clenched my fists and growled "ROBINNNNNNN" Emily VanCamp shows up at one point as well, but I honestly can't even recall whether or not she had a point. Did any of it? Oh and Samuel L. Jackson and Robert Redford (!?) show up to collect a paycheck as well. Oh, ANNNND Anthony Mackie as.... uh some guy the Cap'n befriends that also likes to make mechanical wings in his spare time (he gave me some uncomfortable and unwelcome X-Men 3 reminders.)

Half of the problem is you never really know what the heck is going on (though I caught something about a Jedi Council at one point...) The action is just totally mindless and my brain might have shut off definitely more than just a couple of times. The first 30 minutes at least, in particular, seemed completely pointless. Here's the thing. What made the first movie stand out (somewhat anyway..) was having a superhero movie simultaneously being a period piece. It had style, it was fun, it was a little bit different. Put Captain America in modern times and take the Avengers away from him? Wake me when it's over. To be blunt, the whole movie is basically a two hour commercial for the t.v. series Agents of Shield. Either that or a toxically dangerous drinking game that could put someone into a coma every time someone mentions the organization. They're basically saying "Please. Please. PLEASE watch SHIELD."Don't listen to them though...It's a trappppp! So um on the positive side though it has a couple nice action scenes, maybe a couple nice character moments between the Cap'n and Scar-Jo. And like I said Chris Evans' beautiful face. That's about it. EMILY RATING 5/10.


Sarah said...

Well, I still say that Captain America and Superman are the best superheroes. :) Maybe I like my superheroes relatively inner-conflict-free. Sure, there's a little inner-conflict, but at heart, they are adult boy scouts!

Emily said...

I like him best of the Avengers too probably. But it just wasn't working for me here.

Joey said...

Maybe Robert Redford will collect his only Oscar for this role?