Cameron from Ferris Bueller's Day Off gets it.
Sneezing & Sore throat - Sense and Sensibility, Pride & Prejudice, Emma, Persuasion - Jane Austen gave us some fabulous commentary on human nature and, of course, some of the best love stories ever written. But one thing fails to be mentioned...and that's how much the woman understood how awful being sick is (I guess it helped that it was a bit more life threatening then too...) One of my favorite lines comes from Mr. Elton in Emma "There's nothing worse than a sore throat. Its effects are exceedingly bleak." Amen, Elton. In Sense and Sensibility and Pride & Prejudice Marianne and Jane look as bad as we feel! And of course younger annoying sister Mary in Persuasion has turned complaining about being sick into an art form...so if you want tips on how to make people feel sorry for you, there's a lot you can learn from Persuasion.
Cough - Moulin Rouge! Whenever Nicole Kidman starts up a coughing fest in this movie my soul screams out in terror. If you've got a cough that won't quit put this movie on and be glad that yours isn't resulting in blood.....or [SPOILER highlight to read] DEATH [/SPOILER] And uh...if you are coughing up blood you should probably go see someone about that.
Vertigo - Vertigo. Obviously. I mean come on could I put anything else here? If you got a touch of the dizzies don't you even fear. Old Hitchcock has got you. Actually watching Vertigo might make you more dizzy in fact. So...scratch that. Maybe you should watch Arrested Development and you can commiserate with Lucille Austero AKA Lucille II because she, like Jimmy Stewart, understands what you suffer.
Food Poisoning - Airplane! The comfort of this movie is knowing that I would never have chosen fish for dinner and thus I would not have spit out an egg from my mouth? This movie is pure silliness, but it GETS how serious food poisoning can be
Nausea - Mean Girls. Whether it's word vomit or actual vomit....Mean Girls has you covered in terms of unwanted contents spewing from your mouth. Is it better to calm your stomach or just let it out?....Maybe Mean Girls can help you decide. And it can help you come up with good excuses to not hang out with your friends (or blog titles for that matter!)
Light-headed - A Walk to Remember/Love Story/Now is Good/Restless/Fill in the blank movie about a guy falling for a dying girl. I was originally gonna put this under nausea, but I decided to put it here meaning you need to have a light head to stomach any of these schmaltzy predictable movies. For this list I specifically watched Now is Good about a terminally ill Dakota Fanning with a British accent who wants to accomplish some things before she dies (like losing her virginity...how noble!) I know this is probably perhaps one of the worst things I've ever written but...I hated her emo annoying character so much I was gleefully looking forward to her death. Seriously, I've never seen a more unlikable sick person in a film.
Loss of energy - 50/50. Look. I like this movie and if I'm making a list of movies being sick I'm gonna put it on here! This is one of the more serious films about illness on our list so I had to think of a fitting symptom it could work for. When I think about 50/50 I think it's about an independent person having to be dependent on the people he doesn't expect much from, or he's taken for granted because he can't do things himself. Through his sickness life drains out of him and so much energy is lost he has to accept help from people he wouldn't have before.
Hallucinations and/or chest pain - Mood Indigo. I put this movie on because A) I'd been looking forward to the collaboration of Amelie's Audrey Tautou and director Michel Gondry (Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind) since I saw the trailer and B) since I read it was about a woman who falls ill with "an unusual illness caused by a flower growing in her lungs." I thought this would spice up our list so I gave it a shot. This movie is definitely a combination of Amelie and Eternal Sunshine (and weirdly even a little Beetlejuice) in the best possible way.....in the first half of the film that is. Once she gets sick well...maybe you can fall asleep and create a better ending. I mean, I appreciated it in a visual and somewhat tonal way...but it just felt as though it fell apart. That first half though you'll feel like you're on drugs so if you're experiencing hallucinations...THEY'LL seem normal!