- SOME sort of SOMETHING for Uncle Billy so he can remember ANYTHING for once. Whether it's a day planner or an iPhone with reminders set in it...or even a fictional "remberall" from Harry Potter. Get this dude SOMETHING.
- Ear plugs for when you don't want to listen to your children constantly playing the piano.
- Some frequent flyer miles because the poor man really does deserve a vacation and to finally see the world.
- A lasso.
- A gift certificate for ghostbusting services to get rid of some pesky visitors.
- Membership to eHarmony or match.com to help pick up the pieces of that cold heart.
- Photo album to help remember events from the past a little better.
- Temp employees to come into work for Christmas day only.
- An exotic trip to a private island so you don't have to constantly hear people saying "Merry Christmas"
Ralphie & Family
- Red Rider BB Gun (obvi!)
- More Palmolive soap in case of "emergencies"
- Glue for the old man.
- Thicker curtains in the front window for the Mrs.
- Padlocks to keep the Bumpus's dogs out!
- A Chinese food gift card in case the last present didn't work out...
Buddy the Elf
- Maple syrup!
- Private jet (and lessons to learn how to fly that jet...) to make visiting the North Pole less of a hassle (or I suppose he could always borrow a reindeer?)
- The book "Assimilating to Human Culture for Dummies" I'm sure it exists right?
- A Christmasgram. What's that?? He wants one!
- Like George Bailey, some ear plugs and an iPod to drown out the sound of Whoville singing might do the Grinch a lot of good.
- Vacuum seal bags to save space in the sleigh for all your stolen goods.
- Another 2-3 dogs to help out so Max doesn't feel so burdened.
- Marriage counseling.
- Another machine gun. Ho ho ho.
- A pair of spare shoes to keep handy.
- A pocket knife might be nice to have even though he manages to be plenty resourceful without it.
- Gift certificate for cheese pizza
- Groupon for home repair (I'm guessing the tar in his basement won't be too easy to get rid of.)
- A taser might make some things a little easier. Yes, it's an odd gift to get an 8-year-old...but if you're constantly leaving him behind the little guy needs something to defend himself with!
- Angels With Dirty Souls on BluRay, making it easier to find the exact parts of the movie he needs to use to scare people. Plus the sound quality will sound much better in the fully restored version on the disc!