10.29.2012

Horror Formulas Part 3: The Cursed Object


Warning: I am feeling lazy... And thus you shall get a mini post today. In this installment of horror tropes I will count down the evil objects you don't ever wanna come across. This is how the tale usually goes... Our protagonist stumbles upon cursed item....knows no better...then performs a precise action in use of the object which then brings about their doom.



AS SEEN IN: Evil Dead, The Ring, Drag Me to Hell, Hocus Pocus, Beetlejuice, The Cabin in the Woods, Ghostbusters 2, What Lies Beneath, The Mummy, Various Simpsons Halloween Specials, The Birds, The Skeleton Key

5 objects you do NOT wanna come across:

5. Every object found in the basement of The Cabin in the Woods.

Literally every object in that basement if touched, read or looked at will bring about a different creature hell bent on destroying you. Best to probably stay away from that basement and all the freaky crap in it. Especially the object that will summon the merman!

4. The lovebirds from The Birds

Now this one is totally a subjective object. No one knows what spurred on the bird attacks in the film...but a common theory is the love birds. You can't help but feel like somehow they might have something to do with it and they should have just stayed in San Francisco.


3. Black flame candle from Hocus Pocus.
Bringing back a few witches who only desire to suck the lives out of all the little children of Salem is probably not the best idea. Therefore: all virgins back away from the candle!! And who made that virgin stipulation anyway?

2. The videotape from The Ring
Watching this video tape created by Samara is not only creepy...it will torture you all week long before killing you by the end of said week. Sign me up! Oh wait... Did I say sign me up? I meant to say don't come near me tape!! But at least it comes with an escape clause...

1. The button from Drag Me to Hell. 

The pro of this one vs. the tape is that you only get tortured for 3 days as opposed to 7... But the torture is a lot more literally in your face. And by the end you don't get death which would seem far more welcome than what you get in turn: an eternity in hell. Best be staying away from cursed gypsy buttons.

As for the do's and don'ts? Well I told you today I'm lazy so you just get a nice sentence or two.

Do make it mysterious and don't make it a cop out  Back stories are great but don't explain every detail. The more supernatural the better. Try not to make it a huge cliche that becomes the answer to everything.

Well that's it. Did I miss any?

4 comments:

Sarah said...

Ha ha! Well, that picture from Drag Me to Hell is definitely intriguing. :) I will have to think about if you missed any major cursed objects. You've got a good list here! And fun to read, as always.

Amelia said...

I totally suspect those lovebirds, and that girl wanted to keep them so badly!!! Seriously? haha.

Johanna said...

So you are left wondering if the lovebirds will be okay back in San Francisco or if they will wreak havoc in the Bay City. Say it ain't so, Joe!

Unknown said...

Your mention of "Drag Me to Hell" reminded me of an old movie (1957) "Curse of the Demon". But instead of a old Gypsy button, it was a parchment of old runes, secretly given to the poor unknowing victim. On IMDB I gave the movie a 6, "Drag Me to Hell" I gave a 7.