5.09.2011

Worst. Movie. Ever.

So last week Laurie and I went to the library to get some movies to watch when Thomas would be napping. Among those films we took home, Laurie found and tragically brought into her home one of the worst movies, if not THE worst movie I have ever seen. And that, I realize, is a bold claim. But Laurie agreed. I thought it looked dumb as soon as I heard the title, but after reading the box I figured it would be a so bad it's a hilarious movie...I was wrong.

The offender? A romantic comedy with a past her age to be making rom-coms, Kim Basinger (it was 2004) and John Corbett entitled Elvis Has Left the Building. Nothing more than the DVD cover attracted Laurie, and I went with it for the sake that maybe the silly plot would still make me laugh (i.e. Over Her Dead Body) We should have seen it coming, but I hoped for a campy good time with this tagline: They're on the road...to true love. And this plot description: Harmony Jones (Basinger) is a traveling cosmetic saleswoman whose life is shaped by an early encounter with the King himself. That life takes an ugly turn when she inadvertently kills an Elvis impersonator and flees the scene. On the run from the FBI, Harmony discovers to her horror that she suddenly has a knack for leaving dead Elvis performers in her wake. Her hopes for avoiding all things Elvis are dashed when a handsome man (Corbett) falls for her and won't give up the pursuit...with his trusty Elvis suit in tow!



So we put it on hoping for a nice guilty pleasure laugh...and instead we just sat there. Staring at the screen in unbelief. I don't know why we didn't turn it off....I suppose we were determined to see that crapfest through til the end. But the only thing we could think about during the movie was "how does crap like this ever get made?" That's a lesson, if you haven't heard of it, it's probably for a reason.

I've seen a lot of bad movies, and I mean a lot. But usually they at least make me feel passionate in my hate and that is at least some sort of emotion from me. Instead, we witnessed this dull piece of trash that inspired a hatred in a different way...a more boring way. I hated The Fountain I wanted to run and scream out of the theater. But at least the production values were good...and at least it was so outrageous that it made me want to laugh. Elvis made me want to die....or at least fall asleep and not wake up for a very long time. The Wicker Man? An atrocious piece of filmmaking, but the absurdity of Nicolas Cage's antics makes me laugh every time. Eragon? It was hilarious to see how much plagiarism of Star Wars and Lord of the Rings that was going on that they hoped no one would notice. Saw Burlesque last week and it was also pretty awful (not the campy awful I had hoped for) but I was able to derive some enjoyment from guessing which plot cliche they'd use next. Elvis? Nothing. Absolutely nothing redeemable. Worst. Movie. Ever. I suppose there were a few campy moments in the end that were somewhat amusing in the smallest way, but the film was too far gone and we were too bored and dumbfounded at that point to really care.

The moral of the story is if it sounds stupid it probably is. Also, if Laurie picked it be wary. But let's be honest, I will probably make these same mistakes again because there's always that chance you'll be surprised. So, discuss: what is the worst of the worst that you have ever seen?

6 comments:

Sean Mackay said...

I'll bet Dad would enjoy it. You should get him to watch it.

Laurie & Clint said...

I liked it! Ha ha ust kidding. It was too dumb even for me. Another terrible movie is Popeye! Oh and Waterworld...but I know you don't feel the same....

Emily said...

No comment re waterworld. And yes he probably would Sean. Remember that Camille movie? Ha awful!

Johanna said...

Most of the worst movies of my life have been experienced with dad by my side because he would go to anything and refused to walk out.

I do not hesitate to walk out of a bad movie. But I will continue to check out the little unknowns because there are some wonderful gems there.

I told you on facebook the ones that I saw...including the one your friend noted.

I Love Trouble with Nick Nolte was a pretty bad one. Julia Roberts was the love interest. Yep, no chemistry there.

Sarah said...

Yikes. I'm sorry you had that experience. Elvis Has Left the Building is one of my favorite movies of all time.

Ha ha! Just kidding. I had never heard of it. And you're right, there's a reason for that. Sometimes in the movie world's mercy, some movies just fade into oblivion. I don't really like Kim Basinger's movies that much anyway.

As for The Fountain...it was so weird. I blame the failure of that movie on the editing and the fact that the filmmakers themselves probably didn't know what it was about. Though it did have some redeeming qualities. The cinematography was lovely and it was well-acted by Hugh Jackman and Rachel Weisz. Now, if they had just gone the normal route and stuck to the storyline that you can actually follow of a man learning to cope with the loss of his wife, it might have been a very touching movie. As it was, it was just confusing. I'll bet you could re-edit it yourself using the non-confusing storyline (the present-day storyline) and have a decent little mini-movie that would last between 30-45 minutes. I challenge you!

Hmmmm. Worst movies I have ever seen...I would have to say the same as Mom. I've seen a lot of terrible movies with Dad! I saw a Larry the Cable Guy movie. Dad lured me and Jeremiah with the possibilities of seeing a movie that Jeremiah had been looking forward to, but that movie was sold out and we saw the Larry the Cable Guy movie instead. Mostly Jeremiah and Dad laughed through the whole thing because of me (in response to my disgusted and embarrassed reactions to the gross-out humor).

Mercifully, I appear to have forgotten the names of most of the awful movies. It must be my brain's way of healing itself. :)

Unknown said...

Aww, sad to read how bad this movie is because I really like John Corbett. Alas, I guess I'll keep getting my Corbett fix by huluing (is that a word?) Northern Exposure.